Hello there!
I'm currently lazing in bed on a Sunday afternoon, exactly like how a perfect weekend/holiday should be. Except, I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day sick with food poisoning and stomach flu. Not that I'm complaining; I didn't have many plans and all I did was sleep. For a severely sleep-deprived me, it was pretty fine and I cleared my sleep debt alright.
xoxo recently had our annual Secret Santa/Christmas dinner gathering, and we all guessed our secret Santas correctly. Seems like the mark of true friendship comes when you know your Secret Santa huh? I love this photo of us (but not my tan line, really) because we look just like a family. And we are a family, if you really had to use one word. We were supposed to write three clues for our Santees to guess who the Santa was, but in the end none of us did because we know each other too well. Char resorted to writing things like "I can crack all my bones in my toes" or something??!
So that was pretty much the most Christmassy thing I did this year. Being sick sort of had its perks, though.
It gave me time to reflect on the past year. Like most human beings, it is at this time of the year that we tend to reflect on ourselves, our mistakes, our lessons learnt and our accomplishments. I titled this post 'Year of Firsts' was because simply put, this year gave me lots of Firsts.
1.
It was the first time I met a celebrity and worked with one up close (superficial but pardon me, I was starstruck. I grew up watching Sharon Au!). It was the first time a job didn't feel like a job. It was the first time I could be myself without having to follow a certain style or way of doing things and it was accepted.
Since we're on the topic of celebrities, allow me to indulge myself in some very exciting memories of meeting celebrities I have adored since I was able to understand Chinese and English hahaha. First times of meeting these people I have heard of since the beginning of time... counted right???
The ever young Michelle Chong;
All hail the Queen of Caldecott, Zoe Tay;
Celebrity stylist David Gan who kept calling me mei mei;
Zoe, Belinda and Felicia;
Romeo Tan (who happens to be my current crush in The Dream Makers 2. Zhong Yi Ming anybody????)
Ok I kid you. Celebrities aside, my job at styleXstyle was extremely fulfilling and each day was a-may-zing. I literally felt joy when I ran from one end of the office to the other looking for a stylist; or from the photo studio up three flights of stairs to get a security pass (because if we don't wear it we could possibly be fired due to security reasons); or running to get a cup of coffee for Ah Jie while she was putting on her makeup. Writing articles was fun because at any point in time I could tap Dawn's chair (she sat in front of me) and ask her for a biscuit hehe. Going into office at 9+ in the morning was nice because the drinks stall aunty knew I wanted ice milo. Azurra would have the huge fan turned on because we would be sweating from climbing up the stairs. It was that fun. And for the first time, a job didn't feel like a job.
Now I know what people mean when they say if you do something you like, it won't feel like a chore.
2.
Baking was always a hobby, but this year, it turned into something that gave us returns. When we were younger, my sister and I would watch Cupcake Wars and Cake Boss on TV, saying 'Wow! That looks so amazing! How do they even make that?' and thinking we'd never be able to do what they did because 1. we didn't have an oven in our old house and 2. we only ever tried pre-mixes (sorry if you've ever received one of those spongy, crappy tasting cupcakes from us). Then we moved into our current house and we had an oven and WALA. We were aspiring bakers. We tried lots of things, and eventually my dad who loved brandied fruitcakes told us to try and make that. We did it! We gave out some to friends and relatives for taste testing last year and it went well, so this year, we started taking orders.
As styled by ELLE Singapore on their Instagram (above)
And here's what they look like inside.
No business is smooth-sailing, and we really thought we wouldn't have orders. Thanks to dearest Sharon, Dawn and my dad's friends and my friends, we had a whale of a time baking these babies over three weeks in the kitchen. The funniest part was, we couldn't buy ingredients to cook lunch and dinner because the fridge was stocked full of fruitcakes hahaha.
The next First was for our very first dessert table, which was commissioned by one of our dad's friend's relative. It was a dessert table for his wife's surprise 50th party, and we only wanted the best for such a lovely family. We spent two days and two nights in the kitchen and this was the final product:
Chocolate cupcakes with salted caramel, marshmallows and chocolate chips, complete with a layered chocolate cake and fresh roses.
I mean, for amateur bakers, it really was a dream come true to have put this together. Another first down! (Check it out here if you'd like to know more hehe)
3.
If you've met me recently, you'd know that I have started wearing braces!!! It was something I was always terrified of because well. Pain. But the vainpot in me decided to go ahead because straight teeth is always nicer to look at and also, in the media industry, you'd have to look your best for events. And in photos. No photos for this because my teeth aren't nice now, but wait for it!!!!! Straight teeth will be here. In 2.5 years hahaha.
4.
Saving the best for the last, I think this would have to be the most important First of the year. It is realising, for the first time in my life, that not everyone is meant to stay and that some people are just meant to be lessons. I might have said before that I've grown to be independent, but not exactly why. When I was younger, I longed to be accepted. No matter which group of friends - in school, in my CCA - it was always the same thing. I would do anything to make my 'friends' happy so that they would like me and I would belong. It didn't matter that sometimes they randomly decided to ignore me as a group; as long as they spoke to me after awhile, I was happy.
I didn't realise that that was not right. It continued all the way till secondary school, and I was always upset because why didn't I have good friends? Why didn't I have friends that liked me 100%? Was it me? Was it something I did? Then in JC, I was in a whole new environment. Not exactly a hundred percent you see, because most girls from my secondary school went to the same JC as I did. But still a new environment because I knew nobody in my class. It was a fresh start. It might have been scary at first, and slowly but surely, I made good friends in my class, SB2.
Our class was split in half - there were the good students who loved to study, and then there was the other half which I was in (surprise, surprise). We were rowdy, we made lots of noise and we were always scolded because we were apparently the students with some of the highest grades in the cohort. We'd sit in the 'void deck' (AKA school canteen) and talk our 3 hour breaks away instead of studying. 8 out of 10 of us would climb the back gate (Glenda and I were the goody-two-shoes oh yeah~) to go for lunch at Wahchee, and we'd head to EwF for lunch every fortnight. We were called 'The Sons' all because Chris used to say 'sup sons' whenever he saw us, and that name stuck. Everyone knows we're 'The Sons', and The Sons was where I first felt I belonged. 100%. They'd roll their eyes at my lame jokes, or think I'm acting innocent, but they'd love me for who I was. They were the ones who'd give me a hug when I cried over some silly boy in school, or glare at the girl who spilt milo on my shoes and ran away.
Something happened earlier this year that really crushed me and made me question if I was a friend to anyone at all. I was lied to, and then cyberbullied, but all that only made me wonder about myself even more. Was it really something I did? Do I really scare people off?
Then it suddenly clicked. Not everyone is meant to stay. Some people stay forever, but some are only meant to be lessons in your life. My three best friends, Cel, Char and Mad made me realise that, and they're the ones I'd keep for life.
My point is, for once, I've realised that losing people is okay because not everyone is meant to stay in your life. Those that stay, you treasure forever.
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It's been a lengthy post! I apologise. And thanks for reading if you've gotten this far!
New Year's resolutions? No thanks. Those are but empty promises I do not keep; as long as I have grown and I mature a little each year, it is more than enough for me.
With love,
Ragel
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