Well hello there! It's been awhile. My last post was on September 22, which means it's been slightly more than three months since I've posted. And well, before that it was quite a long time. I think the number of times I've blogged this year can be counted on one hand? I don't even think I have regular readers, but all the same, I feel terrible that I've neglected this space.
A few days ago, I ended the first half of my last year in university, and what was the last examination I would take in a long time to come. I was so happy; I simply had to take a photo to document the historic moment. Right here with me is Naz - we've been together in school since we were 17 and it's been an amazing ride with her. Even though we belong to different cliques, nothing's really changed. She's ever willing to help me and is always honest in what she tells me. It wouldn't be the same without her, really. I think it's a kind of comfort in knowing someone who's really got my back is in this with me.
Having said that, I don't think I really have a clique in school. I mean, I did. But things happened, and people change, and life doesn't stop for anybody. In some ways, it's better that things are like that. I used to be someone who relied a lot on people around me; I could never do without friends (social butterfly, you know) and I would never be caught eating lunch alone. I've actually done that a lot in the past year, come to think of it. I've enjoyed school a whole lot more because I've been alone and I've been able to think about the entire process as a journey, rather than have it flurry by in a blur.
For one, I prioritise value-add learning rather than grades (that explains my horrible GPA) so I mostly take modules that I'm interested in whenever I can. That includes voice lessons, sports, communications and art modules. Even sound editing for film - been there done that. It brought me tons of unexpected joy, to be honest (I particularly enjoyed listening to Char scream during recording for my Exorcist recording). I enjoyed getting to know new people each semester, learning a new skill, perfecting an already-possessed skill, and most of all, getting to know myself better. I now know about myself so much more than I ever did and it's been a journey I will never regret going on.
I don't do well when people micro-manage me; in fact, I get all rebellious and refuse to start on what I need to do until that person calms down. I've come to realise that I'm someone who will never fit into the norms of society. I need more excitement in life like learning new things, creating new things and meeting new people. I need a job that isn't the same mundane cycle every single day because I believe I can bring more than just routine to the table. I care enough about grades to have me graduate from university, but that's about it because life is more than your GPA. I had dreams I never thought would come true because I didn't know how to go about it, but I am now on my way there.
I dreamt of being a writer and with a bold step, an interview and the loveliest boss, I am now somewhat a budding writer.
I dreamt of being a baker and with some help from my parents, my best partner and sister, we now have a tiny tiny home bakery.
I dreamt of being a party planner and well, my sister and I recently did an entire dessert table for a stranger. Baby steps!
I dreamt of having a job I loved and having to go to work with a smile on my face - I experienced that firsthand in my internship with styleXstyle and hopefully will experience that every single day from now on.
It's been such a fulfilling almost-twelve months and I absolutely can't believe another year flew by. This year has been the best year yet. I turned the ripe, not-so-old age of 22 in October, but it is only now that I truly feel a year older. It could be the pre-graduation feels, but I'd like to think not. There have been so many people who have played a part in my becoming 22 years of age, and no words could ever express how I feel right now (how did I even type all this out..).
I've survived all the bricks thrown at me, and I've come out stronger, better and wiser. It's time for the world to hear me roar.
With love,
Ragel
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